5 steps to stop people pleasing (and hiding)

by | Jan 6, 2024

You know that feeling of saying yes to something when you know deep down it’s a no? Hiding your truth? Hiding yourself?

We’ve all been there (maybe even multiple times in the last 24 hours), so let’s not judge ourselves.

And, those little codependent white lies add up…

Because some part of us knows that we’re not acting on our own behalf.

We’re trying to get love by abandoning ourselves. We’re hiding. And our bodies, careers, relationships, and inner peace suffer.

I’m not proposing you live your life like a saint. Life is messy! Messy is sacred! Get into it!

At the same time, I’m sharing this because I know the shameful pain and disempowerment of ongoing people-pleasing and hiding.

It feels awful.

And we miss out on the beautiful possibilities of Life!

So here are 5 steps to gracefully change directions when you find yourself turning towards the “little white lie”:

(These steps are also related to the Moving with Innate Wisdom Practice we do in the Brilliant Creatives Community.)

1 – Pause whatever situation you’re in and ask yourself, “am I present?”

2 – Take a few deep breaths. Your mind might start racing, but instead, can you let the attention you’re placing on your thoughts move to your breath and your body?

3 – Sense what you’re feeling. Can you name it? Even being slightly more present with any discomfort builds your ability to not run away from your truth.

4 – Ask yourself, “what would be the most loving choice (to me, first) at this moment?” Follow that choice as best you can. You might tune into your inner child and see what they truly want.

5- Remind yourself, you can’t get this wrong. There’s no perfect way. Our personal evolution will happen until and beyond the day we die. Simply noticing the choices you make and the effects they create is an important step in self-empowerment.

These steps need practice and you may not be able to do them all right away, so be kind to yourself and know that things can shift with repetition.

BONUS: Practice gratitude and compassion for whenever someone is honest with you!


P.S. Save the date, plus a few free ways to receive my support…

1 – This Wednesday, January 10th is the next Brilliant Creatives Community session. Bring your questions, intentions, and dreams to this intimate space, and you’ll receive my unique guidance with mindset coaching, energy healing, and movement, to empower you on your journey. Join this small and mighty community here.

2 – Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube. We do our best to post meaningful, focused content in a world of distractions! (And we’re cooking up ideas to support you on more purposeful platforms… stay tuned.)

3 – Come to my art opening for Open AIR MT! Yes, I believe my art can support you. ❤️ Friday, January 5th at Zootown Arts.

4 – If you’d like to be on the waitlist to work 1:1 with me, please apply here. Serious inquiries only. I work with just a few clients per year.

It’s an honor to support you, from my lived experience!!❤️


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